Today’s experience comes from Simona.
From an emotional perspective, the last few weeks have been not easy for me. Being pulled away from my normal environment and placed in a different one, and being already very sensitive and overly aware of everything that goes on around me and inside of me – which has led to some low moments.
I really could not complain though. I’m with my sister’s family, surrounded by two adults and four children. Being with them, I feel part of a small community, and it helps. My parents are at a walking distance, and, since we live in a village, I can go and stay with them in their yard, at the appropriate distance, and we can enjoy each other’s company. My sister also has a spacious courtyard, where I can go outside whenever I want. I’m well aware I’m one of the lucky ones in all of this, and I try to be grateful.
However, I’ve also had days and moments, plenty of them, when I felt meaninglessness, of acute longing for my past life, and even anger. I wish I wasn’t like this. I have done my best to keep any depressing thoughts away, but, as much as I try, this is not always in my power. So, I’ve decided to just accept the waves that will come over me – accept them, name them, not analyze them too much, but not just ignore them. I will let whatever may come be, knowing that this too shall pass.
Meanwhile, I am deeply thankful for some other instances. For example, earlier today, when I was able to sit in the yard during my lunch break, reading some pages from a book and eating a mango; then soon after, while I was resting a bit in my room with the windows wide open, I opened my eyes and saw wonderful rays of light coming in and I heard birds singing and I breathed in the clean air.
I know I am rich and God is good. And I know He is still in control even when my weak self cannot see all the good things I have received as a gift.
I am praying for my eyes to be opened more these days; for my heart to be changed more; for my whole being to be renewed, so that in this place where I’ve been put for a while, I will be able to reflect some of the kindness, mercy, goodness and love that come from above.